My Hyperreality

The internet is littered with my failed attempts at keeping a blog. Over the years I’ve had accounts with angelfire, geocities, livejounal, insanejournal, xanga, and blogspot, just to name a few. I’ve tried writing on everything from short stories to writing inspirations to recipe’s to random daily happenings. Hell, I’ve even tried to create a vlog (granted, it was a joint vlog, but a vlog nonetheless). But for some reason I seem to lose steam pretty quickly (Although I did manage to keep my livejournal going off-and-on for over two years. And on a funny aside in order to get that detail I had to hop over to good ol’ lj.com and accidentally typed in “liverjournal.com”; it was highly amusing).

It’s sort of like how every Christmas my mother gives me a journal, and gives herself a journal, and we both swear blue that we’ll at least write something down every day, but end up forgetting about the whole thing around mid-February. I think it has something to do with habit - ie; how easy it is for me to fall out of the habit of doing things. Or perhaps it would be better to say that I fail at being obsessive - I have many interests but am so easily entranced by new-shiny-awesomeness that they’re all a bit surface. I think it takes a lot more single-minded determination than I possess to successfully maintain a blog.

Of course there’s also the fact that I am so very aware of the things that I do. When I try to write something I always find myself asking “does this sound too contrived? too cheesy? will anybody even care about this?” On the flipside I am a mild egotist, and don’t really see the point in keeping a blog going if I’m not attracting millions of readers - hence why I always failed at written diary keeping. While I’m sure that someday people will be gagging to read my memoirs, autobiography and fictobiography, watch the documentary, the Lifetime afternoon movie and the Hollywood blockbuster reimagining, buy the memorabilia and bake the dedicated dish, these long term rewards are not nearly satisfying enough for my Gen Y “need-it-now” mentality.

It is, of course, highly ironic that I’m currently blogging about my inability to blog. Blame my tossing and turning for that one, folks. I eventually decided that it would be slightly more productive for me to sit on my laptop and write this than lay awake, staring at the ceiling (which is surprisingly hard to see without my glasses on), thinking about all the university work that I could be, should be, doing. Besides, dribbling via the keyboard ultimately stops me from dribbling all over my pillow - and right now I’m trying to be particularly hygienic, what with the broken washing machine and all. Nothing grosser than a drool covered pillow and no easy way to wash it.

If you’re feeling a bit bored or looking for a fun method of procrastination, I challenge you to go forth and see if you can follow my breadcrumbs over the internet. If you find any of my old haunts (that you didn’t previously know about, of course), I will bake you delicious cookies, or maybe even cake! And if there’s one thing that people should know about me, it’s that I make delicious cookies and cake. The second thing is that I’m incredibly modest.